Hello, Fire Manzo Guy

Okay, so this is my first post, other than my introduction, and I don't know exactly how well it is going to read. Instead of the typical format of the target's text being in one font and the blogger/roaster/toolbag's text in another, we have three (actually, kind of four) sets of text to deal with; Manzo's pitiful garbage, Fire Manzo Guy's self-indulgent garbage, and my beautiful garbage. Oh, and then don't forget the initial article which generated Manzo's post. So I may have to experiment with a couple of different layouts before getting it right. Bear with me.

Here's a link to the original post called "Manziarism" by Fire Manzo Guy

So FMG opens with:
Well it looks like whoever was writing Manzo’s blogs for him yesterday allowed him to start doing it himself again today. His first blog of the day brought up a word we’ve been using for a while. Manziarism (not to be confused withManzoism which derives from proving the opposite of your point) is when Manzo mails in a blog by just basically rewriting the original story in his own words. It is perfectly acceptable in breed standards for a Manziarism to involve one Seinfeld reference and one vague sexual innuendo as well.


I haven't read all of FMG's stuff yet, so apparently he has already introduced the term Manziarism. Here he gives brief reiteration of what it means. Ok, great. No problem here. Can't wait to see how poor Manzo walks into this one.


Here is the brief excerpt from the original article as well as Manzo's post.

MAY 26 A survey of the crime scene determined that Booth’s shorts and underwear were several feet away from the blanket upon which he was laying on his back “with his entire genitals showing.” Nearby, officers found the book “Gay Power,” a “Kroger bottle of extra virgin olive oil,” two cans of Miller beer, and Marlboro cigarettes. “Sweating all over his body,” Booth, 26, appeared to have drizzled himself with the olive oil. While his clothes smelled of marijuana, no contraband was recovered by cops, who noted that the suspect was “acting very unusual.”  Booth, who “kept smiling wide eyed at officers,” told police, “I’m from New York. Can’t I do this here?” He continued, “I’m a Republican and the cigarettes pay your taxes.”

Now Manzo:

Kramer did the same thing but instead of an Indiana park with olive oil and a “Gay Power” book, it was a roofdeck with Newman and a stick of a butter…    It’s a Tuesday afternoon in rural Indiana, might as well as go to the park, light up a joint, take off all my clothes and pour olive oil all over my body.   I’m pretty sure John Cougar Melloncamp talks about doing the same thing in “Pink Houses”.   It’s been said 1000 times, a gay black republican doesn’t have a prayer of sunbathing naked in rural Indiana reading a Gay Power book drenched in olive oil.   I mean not even the republican part got him off.

FMG says:
There ya go, a perfectly executed Manziarism, started with a Seinfeld reference, right into some boring regurgitation of the original story, and he closes it out with some vague sexual innuendo… “I mean not even the republican part got him off” Whoa! Zing! see what he did there? Oh and the John Cougar Melloncamp (sic) reference was probably just to remind us exactly how ancient Manzo is.


So earlier FMG mentions that a sometimes feature of a Manziarism is "vague sexual innuendo." Well, unless he meant unintended sexual innuendo or total absence of sexual innuendo, then FMG misses the mark here. I had to go back and re-read the entire original article on BSNY to make sure there was no mention of this crazy fucker trying to bust his nut. Because, for "not even the republican part got him off" to be innuendo, there would have to be some indication in the article that the guy was trying to get off. There is no way that Manzo was using innuendo there. He only meant that the guy's declaration of being republican wasn't enough to get him off the hook. 100% not innuendo and 100% not funny. So if you want to make up "facts" to prove your own "theories", let us know. Maybe that can be one of your gimmicks.


Further, it's not the regurgitation of the article why Manzo sucks. El Pres often re-writes the critical points of the nutball articles. He does so in a way that is usually pretty funny because it highlights just how bizarre the facts of the article are. Manzo's problem isn't his approach. Once again, his problem is that he's not funny. His problem isn't that he's old. He's just not funny.  I have a feeling I won't be writing this blog for very long. 


Lastly, I would encourage myself, Manzo, and anyone else to use Seinfeld references where appropriate. His problem here was he tried it as a punchline when he should have just ended his post with "Anyone else immediately think of this when they read that article?" and then link to a YouTube of the scene.


Everyone knows that everything in life can be somehow made into a Seinfeld and/or Simpson's reference. 


FMG's last word:
If I had a degree from Providence College I would put a hit out on Manzo immediately. The guy is absolutely destroying the value of that piece of paper with this nonsense. Does anybody know if there is any English requirement at PC? Is there a baking school down there that Manzo got his degree from?


This is just unnecessary hyperbole with zero comedic value. This is a good yardstick for measuring how deranged you might be. If you read the above paragraph and laughed at any point, consider yourself deranged. Unless, FMG is 100% serious here.


Let me try something....


If I had a degree from (insert FMG's college here) I would put a hit out on FMG immediately. The guy is absolutely destroying the value of that piece of paper with this nonsense. Does anybody know if there is any Not Thinking I'm Wittier Than I Actually Am requirement at (insert abbreviation for FMG's college here)? Is there a baking school (insert directional reference for FMG's college here) that FMG got his degree from?